From e.e-owner@visionplants.org Fri Jan 11 16:19:43 2002 Return-Path: Received: from mta618.mail.yahoo.com (mta618.mail.yahoo.com [216.136.224.73]) by mail2.thuntek.net (8.11.6/8.11.0) with SMTP id g0BNJgb00190 for ; Fri, 11 Jan 2002 16:19:42 -0700 (MST) (envelope-from e.e-owner@visionplants.org) Received: from mta618.mail.yahoo.com for valor@global-dialog.org; Jan 11 15:19:40 2002 -0800 X-Track: 1: 40 X-Yahoo-Forwarded: from eedonut@yahoo.com to valor@global-dialog.org Received: from 66.163.239.221 (EHLO visionplants.org) (66.163.239.221) by mta618.mail.yahoo.com with SMTP; 11 Jan 2002 15:19:40 -0800 (PST) Received: from imsm030.netvigator.com [208.167.231.148] by visionplants.org (SMTPD32-6.04) id A2FD190290; Fri, 11 Jan 2002 18:19:25 -0500 Received: (qmail 9209 invoked from network); 11 Jan 2002 23:19:33 -0000 Received: from pcd316134.netvigator.com (HELO r4y5i7) (203.218.106.134) by imsm030.netvigator.com with SMTP; 11 Jan 2002 23:19:33 -0000 Message-ID: <003201c19af6$2e853a40$aff4fea9@r4y5i7> From: "Tony Giles" To: "EE list" Date: Sat, 12 Jan 2002 07:17:47 +0800 MIME-Version: 1.0 Content-Type: text/plain; charset="iso-8859-1" Content-Transfer-Encoding: 7bit X-Priority: 3 X-MSMail-Priority: Normal X-Mailer: Microsoft Outlook Express 5.50.4522.1200 X-MimeOLE: Produced By Microsoft MimeOLE V5.50.4522.1200 Subject: EE: Two chuckles Precedence: bulk Sender: e.e-owner@visionplants.org Reply-To: e.e@visionplants.org Status: R I thought all you Norte Americanos on the list might enjoy this: HIGH SCHOOL STUDENTS DEMAND WARS IN EASIER-TO-FIND COUNTRIES "How Come No One Fights in Big Famous Nations Anymore?" They Ask Washington, D.C. (SatireWire.com) - A delegation of American high school students today demanded the United States stop waging war in obscure nations such as Afghanistan, Kuwait, and Bosnia-Herzegovina, and instead attack places they've actually heard of, such as France, Australia, and Austria, unless, they said, those last two are the same country. "Shouldn't we, as Americans, get to decide where wars are?" asked sophomore Kate Shermansky. "People claim we don't know as much geography as our parents and grandparents, but it's so not our fault," Josh Beldoni, a senior at Fischer High School in Los Angeles, told the Senate Armed Services Committee. "Back then they only had wars in, like, Germany and England, but we're supposed to know about places like Somalia and Massachusetts." "Macedonia," corrected committee Chairman Carl Levin of Michigan. "See?" said Beldoni. Beldoni's frustration was shared by nearly three dozen students at the hearing, who blamed the U.S. military for making them look bad. "I totally support our soldiers and all that, but I am seriously failing both geography and social studies because I keep getting asked to find Croatia or Yemvrekia, or whatever bizarre-o country we send troops to," said Amelia Nash, a junior at Clark High School in Orlando, Fla. "Can't we fight in, like, Italy? It's boot-shaped." Chairman Levin however, explained that Italy was a U.S. ally, and that intervention is usually in response to a specific threat. "OK, what about Arulco?" interrupted Tyler Boone, a senior at Bellevue High School in Wisconsin. "That's a country in Jagged Alliance 2 run by the evil Queen Deidranna. I'm totally familiar with that place. She's a major threat." "Jagged...?" said Levin. "Alliance. It's a computer game." "Well, no," Levin answered. "We can't attack a fictional country." "Yeah right," Boone mumbled. "Like Grenada was real." The students' testimony was supported by a cross-section of high school geography teachers, who urged the committee to help lay a solid foundation for America's young people by curtailing any intervention abroad. "Since the anti-terror war began, most of my students can now point to Afghanistan on a map, which is fine, but those same kids still don't know the capitals of Nevada and Ohio," said Richard Gerber, who teaches at Rhymony High School in Atlanta. "I think we need to cut back on our activities overseas and take care of business at home, and if that means invading Tallahassee (Fla.) or Trenton (N.J.) so that students learn where they are, so be it." "I've always wanted to stick it to Hartford (Conn.)," said Sen. Lincoln Chafee of Rhode Island. "Oh shit, is my microphone on?" The hearing adjourned after six hours. An estimated 2,000 more students were expected to hold a march in the nation's capital, but forgot which city it was in. http://www.satirewire.com/news/jan02/geography.shtml And here's one for LacOv: Argentina Institutes Presidential Draft Buenos Aires (SatireWire.com) - In an effort to fill its depleting ranks of potential leaders, Argentina's Congress today implemented a nationwide draft that requires all citizens age 18 and over to serve as the country's president for a minimum of two days. Implementation of the presidential draft is expected to reduce turnover in the position by 50 percent. The decision, however, caused violent unrest in the country of 39 million, as hordes of potential conscripts protested outside goverment offices. "I love my country, but it is not fair to ask me to sacrifice my future to serve as president," said 19-year-old Manuel Rodriguez, whose low draft number, 0434, makes it likely he will be called up sometime in early 2005. The nation's mothers, meanwhile, joined in the protests. "Please do not take my baby away!" cried Maria Esconvida, a housewife from Cordoba. "Take me instead!" Congressional leaders quickly swore her in before she could take it back. http://www.satirewire.com/briefs/el_presidente.shtml Fat Tony ===(}